There's a certain comaraderie that occurs between friends and associates who are in the know. The closed doors are protection, but they aren't what is shutting out the rest of the world and pressing hearts and minds closer together. It's the shared knowledge that life can be better than it is. The shared goal to get out. The shared hatred of being oppressed.
That's all well and good, but fairly melodramatic even for myself. But I can't get over how full I feel these days. With every day I press through at the office, I am one day closer to escaping this hole that has sucked me in and sucked me dry of all confidence and security over the past year and a half. There is a certain joy in knowing that the pain and agony isn't mine alone. I don't revel in my friends' and colleages' angst, but I do get my kicks knowing that they too will be seeking fulfilling career paths far from the doors of this firm.
Meanwhile, the partners who take pride in beating down our spirit will be left behind to wallow in their self-aggrandizing nests of lies and anxiety. This firm is nothing if it has no associates to whip. I wonder if these miserable partners realize how close they are to losing the entire lot of underlings.
But then, I doubt they'd care. There's always some sucker who's willing to endure the beating for a year or two in order to collect the paycheck. This firm is already severely lacking in loyalty. It's only going to get worse from here.
Luckily, I won't be around when this place implodes.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
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